I like to write about things that matter to me, but rarely do I write with the raw, precious grit and honest humor of authors like Ann Lemott. When I read her “stuff” I envy her wisdom and appreciate her open heart. More often than not, I am feeling the same way and I need the language she and others like her are providing. So now, because I have had this brave woman—and others—as my teachers, I have the courage to publicly call UNCLE to The Universe…..
Dear Universe,
Every day I get a cute little email from you, The Universe. Sometimes, I have to admit, it comes off a little flip but I give you the benefit of the doubt that you are looking out for me and I try to heed your advice. Well, I was thinking that now might be a good time to write back. (By the way, I think I am speaking for several of us, mere mortals, down here.)
Can we please enter a cease fire from my soul lessons (that I probably agreed to before my birth) so I can catch my breath? Or, can we make a deal that I will learn a few lessons the “easy” way? You know, the “you give me a twenty, I give you two tens” kind of way?
For a while now, I have been smacked with enough change, struggles, and challenges to send a prize fighter to the floor.
But I have stayed on my feet.
OK, I might have hit the mat a few times. But, I pulled myself back up—either by clinging to the ropes or asking for a hand.
I hear the messages you are sending: change is good, embrace the change, don’t take things personally, grow through change, change is really a beginning, when a door shuts a window opens, God only gives you what you can handle, blah, blah, blah.
I get it.
Throughout these lessons I have committed myself to loving kindness. I know everyone has their own struggles. It’s a rough world out here.
I TRY to be kind (except for that little slip with the Ace hardware man who didn’t want to sell me a tool because he was afraid I would hurt my hardwood floors and I said, “Give me the F*$&@#G tool!”—maybe I should go back and apologize?).
I embrace the challenges. I take responsibility. I really do! I commit to learning, growing—all that. I want to help make the world a better place.
But I’m tired. I’m weary.
I need a break.
I need joy.
To be clear, I’m not giving up—far from it. I still have lots to do. And, I want to do it with good energy, a clear head and forward thinking. I’m just asking for a time out.
So, how about you rearrange a few stars (let’s start by getting Mercury out of retrograde) and I take a few naps. You clear a path so I don’t trip and fall (maybe even put some chocolate and flowers along the way?) and I’ll start skipping down the “yellow brick road.” Sound good?
I think it could be fun.
Can’t wait to hear from you…with some GOOD news!!
Love ya!
Ellen
Ellen, my darling, if anyone has earned a timeout, it is you. Would gladly strew your path with all the chocolate I can find. : )